Growth is not solely about becoming something new.
The process is also about letting go of what doesn’t fit anymore.
There are many people today talking about leveling up, healing, and/or realizing their higher self, but still finding themselves stuck, frustrated, and confused as to why things in their life aren’t changing. The reality of it is easy but not easy to hear: you cannot integrate your new self while holding on to your old patterns, beliefs, and identities from your former self.
Transformation needs space. And space is achieved by releasing.
The Comfort of Familiar Patterns
Old habits can linger not because they benefit us, but because they are familiar. Even negative habits can be comfortable as long as they are familiar.
We hold onto:
Thinking patterns that have previously secured us.
Roles that We Learn to Play to Gain Acceptance and to be Loved
Such patterns might have served a purpose. They might have gotten you through tough times, relationships, or circumstances. However, what got you through might be holding you back now.
Growth doesn’t dishonor your past. It honors your past by realizing that you don’t need the same armor anymore.
The Illusion of Carrying Both Versions
Many try to do both:
They strive to grow while secretly clinging to the old self “in case.”
They look for new connections, but retain the old emotional walls.
They want abundance, but they think according to scarcity.
They have a desire for peace, yet they find a familiarity in the chaos.
Growth, however, does not function this way.
Your new version will not work in conjunction with the old habits which run opposed to the new version of you. One will consistently dominate the other. In most cases, it is the old version because it is practiced.
Identity Is the Root of Change
True change never begins with behaviors. It always begins with identity.
If you still see yourself as:
“Someone who always struggles”
“Someone who gets abandoned”
“Someone who self-sab
“Someone who settles”
Otherwise, nothing can ever motivate it towards growth.
“You can temporarily become like the ‘new’ version, but sooner or later, you’ll revert to what is congruent with your self-image.”
If you want to move ahead, you have to release identities that don’t represent you any longer.
Ask yourself:
To whom am I still loyal – albeit at the cost of my personal growth?
Letting Go Is an Act of Trust
The process of letting go of the old self is a grieving process. There is a loss to be acknowledged—even if it’s a loss of pain.
You may mourn:
“Who you thought you had to be” refers to the identity or
Relationships based on the antique version of you.
The pleasure of predictability
The identity in which you once belonged
Letting go means trusting that what’s ahead is safer than what you’re leaving behind—even if what’s ahead is not visible to you yet.
It demands faith before proof.
Resistance Is a Sign You’re Close
Just as you are unfolding from your old ways, the first signs of resistance may appear. “What if I am not supposed to go this way?” Doubts arise. Fears speak. “Maybe I should go back.”
Not at all. Just because this is happening does not mean that you
It is as if your skin is peeling.
Discomfort is usually that last door between who you were, and who you are becoming.
Stay present. Stay compassionate. Stay committed.
Creating Space for the New
Transformation
Will not be forced.
There will be space created for it.
This appears as:
Learning to say no to the things that drain you.
Selecting Responses Over Reactions
In this stage
Breaking Agreements with Limiting Beliefs
Releasing Relationships That Only Know The Old You
Forgiving yourself for what you were while committing to who you are becoming
It becomes sustainable once growth emanates from self-respect and not from self-punishment.
You Are Allowed to Evolve.
You are not betraying your past by evolving.
You honor your journey by continuing it.
The best version of you that there was, did the best they could with what they knew. Thank them. Love them. And let them rest.
“A new version of yourself demands presence, courage, and alignment, not perfection.”
And remember this:
You don’t go forward while carrying the past along with you.
You move ahead in life by carrying the wisdom, not the weight.
You are not losing yourself.
You go back to who you have always been intended to be.
Libra Sol Aura 
Leave a comment